Dealing with Anger & Emotional Triggers - A Positive Approach

1.    Anger is not bad or wrong. It can be expressed and received consciously and compassionately.

2.    The underlying cause of anger is (a) fear that a critical need is not being or will not be met, and (b) projection of blame on whoever we think holds power to prevent the fulfillment of that need

3.    When you feel angry or "triggered", develop a “signal” to help you remember to stop, breathe, then connect with and express your underlying fear and need. Withdraw any blame you are placing on the other person. When you see that the other person is really hearing your feelings and needs, rather than reacting defensively, then focus on and request actions that will help you meet your need.

4.    When you are faced with another’s anger, rather than reacting defensively or telling them to “calm down,” validate their feelings. Guess at their underlying fear and need. Do not be taken in by their projection of blame toward you. When you feel certain that they know you are tuned into what is really going on for them, then focus on finding strategies that will help them meet their need (and yours also).

The tuition is between $50.00 and $125.00.